Listen Everyday!

I recently attended an excellent workshop on bullying at Pine Hill Elementary School in Sherborn, Ma. The workshop featured Brigitte Berman, the 15 year-old author of Dorie Witt's Guide to Surviving Bullies and Margie Daniels, from the Middlesex County District Attorney's office of child welfare. Bridgitte spoke to the parents in the audience and offered suggestions to help them help their children deal with feelings of being bullied. Bridgitte told the parents, " it is important to react" when your child comes to you with hurt feelings from being bullied. She explained that "reacting means listening". She further explained that parents need to "listen every day" to their children. I couldn't agree with Bridgette more! I strongly believe that it is the responsibility of parents to "tune-in" to their children. Parents can tune-in by watching to see if the behavior of their children has changed. They can ask their children if there is a problem at school. They can listen to their children and they can help their children deal with behaviors of others; the behavior that is hurting their children. Thank you, Bridgette, for sharing your story and helping parents understand how important it is to listen everyday!

Is Your Daughter Being Socially Excluded?

A parent asked me for advice on dealing with bullying today. She said that her fourth grade daughter's friend is beginning to exclude her from activities on the playground at school and other social situations. When the parent's daughter asked her friend why she's not including her anymore, her friend replied, "because my mother doesn't want me to play with you anymore". The parent has made several attempts to talk to the mother of her daughters' friend and ask her why her daughter is being excluded. The mother denies any wrongdoing and replies, " you and your daughter are just too sensitive". I explained to the parent that
social exclusion is a form of bullying and when an individual is consistently made to feel uncomfortable in social situations, then they are being targeted. I suggested to the parent that she and her daughter may benefit from reading some of the suggested books and practice the worksheets in my guidebook. The book, My Secret Bully, by Trudy Ludwig is a classic example of emotional bullying. A young girl learns what to do when her friend since Kindergarten begins to exclude her. The information and worksheets on Values, Character, Courage, Bully-Proof Techniques, Friends, Real Friends and Cliques, may also be helpful in identifying thier behaviors as well as the behaviors of others. I also suggested that she and her daughter watch the DVD, Mean Girls, and read together, Queen Bees and Wannabes, by Rolalind Wiseman. The movie is a brilliant depiction of social exclusion and the book identifies the hierarchy of a clique that socially excludes. I hope the information and resources that I suggested to the parent help her and her daughter understand thier own character and values, better identity the character and values of others and find a technique to help them deal with the emotional bullying.

Hooray for Time For Kids!

In the World Report Edition, dated October 9, 2009, an informative article on Bullies was published. The title is Bullies Beware! The article explains that October 4-10 is Bullying Prevention Week! What a great way to create awareness of Bully Prevention! The article states that in July, 2009, the American Academy of Pediatrics published, for the first time, official guidelines for what pediatricians should know about bullying and what they should say and do to prevent it from happening. It also emphasizes the importance of the role all adults play in reducing bullying. There are many anti-bullying curricula that are taught in elementary schools around the country. The Open-Circle, Second Step, Bully-Proof and Quit-It , are just a few of the Social and Emotional Curricula that I have taught. These programs reinforce techniques to use when a child feels uncomfortable and all of them encourage parent and other adult involvement in order for them to be successful. Unfortunately, many of the adults are not involved. I strongly agree with Sue Limber, an expert on school bullying and a Professor at Clemson University in South Carolina. She states, "When adults all work together-and work with kids-we can reduce bullying". I think every school needs to have a required bully-prevention curriculum and adult participation needs to be mandatory in order to reduce bullying in America! Elizabeth

Welcome!

Welcome Parents, Teachers, Counselors and all others interested in sharing stories, asking questions or offering comments about bullying, teasing or any other social and emotional issues of elementary school children! I am Elizabeth Barnes and I hope you will find this blog a great resource! I strongly believe that the more support that we receive from one another on the social and emotional well-being of our children, the more we understand how to help our children deal with these issues. I will be visiting the blog often and hope you will, too! Thank you for visiting and sharing!