Is Your Daughter Being Socially Excluded?

A parent asked me for advice on dealing with bullying today. She said that her fourth grade daughter's friend is beginning to exclude her from activities on the playground at school and other social situations. When the parent's daughter asked her friend why she's not including her anymore, her friend replied, "because my mother doesn't want me to play with you anymore". The parent has made several attempts to talk to the mother of her daughters' friend and ask her why her daughter is being excluded. The mother denies any wrongdoing and replies, " you and your daughter are just too sensitive". I explained to the parent that
social exclusion is a form of bullying and when an individual is consistently made to feel uncomfortable in social situations, then they are being targeted. I suggested to the parent that she and her daughter may benefit from reading some of the suggested books and practice the worksheets in my guidebook. The book, My Secret Bully, by Trudy Ludwig is a classic example of emotional bullying. A young girl learns what to do when her friend since Kindergarten begins to exclude her. The information and worksheets on Values, Character, Courage, Bully-Proof Techniques, Friends, Real Friends and Cliques, may also be helpful in identifying thier behaviors as well as the behaviors of others. I also suggested that she and her daughter watch the DVD, Mean Girls, and read together, Queen Bees and Wannabes, by Rolalind Wiseman. The movie is a brilliant depiction of social exclusion and the book identifies the hierarchy of a clique that socially excludes. I hope the information and resources that I suggested to the parent help her and her daughter understand thier own character and values, better identity the character and values of others and find a technique to help them deal with the emotional bullying.